Ashley Victoria Jean Wolpert

         May 15, 2009........Standing up here today is not the hardest thing I ever had to do...burying my daughter was, but your decision, Kristi, to drive drunk on Aug. 11, 2007, changed my life and many others, in the worst way possible and also took away, FOREVER, a little girls mother .  My daughter ASHLEY was my life, she was my joy, my happiness, my laughter and sometimes my pain in the butt and I MISS HER.  I still think about that horrible morning at the hospital, not knowing how bad anything was until I saw a girl laying in the ER.  Her face and head so swollen and disfigured, that I didn't know who she was until I saw red hair sticking out from her bandages, that girl was our Stoo, then seeing another girl, who was just as bad, but I knew she wasn't ASHLEY.  I was hoping then, that ASHLEY was OK, but when I saw the hospital's Chaplain, I knew, deep down, in the pit of my stomach, that the worst was yet to come.          You just have no idea the amount of pain, the terror and the shock I felt finding out that ASHLEY had died and then seeing her laying there, with only a small cut on her forehead looking like she was just sleeping, screaming out " Wake up.....you can' be dead.....don't do this to us"......then I touched her, she was cold......ASHLEY was really gone......This is what I have to live with for the rest of my fife seeing and remembering that image of my only child.           This should never have happened to her,,,,,ASHLEY had everything to live for, she was going to gradute from LPN school in Dec. of that year, she loved all her familly and friends, she was getting her young life back on the right track and most of all, she absolutelly adored her baby daughter, ALEXANDRIA.  I still can see ASHLEY coming through the kitchen door, holding ALEXANDRIA, saying " Mom, I mad hungry, did you cook anything?" or to hear ASHLRY sing those crazy songs she would just make up about anything,,,,,to see her dancing around the house or just watching her be a MOM to her beautiful ALEXANDRIA, and our special times that we shared with each other.  And most of all, I will never get to hug her, kiss her or her her call me " MOM ".......I have no other children........ASHLEY was my only child and she's gone,,,,,and you Kristi are the only one who is responsible for ASHLEY'S death and causing Amanda's and Lindsey's life long injuries.          You chose to drink, drive so fast and to take those girls with you that night,,,,you had a responsibility to them and you failed.  I don't hate you and one day I will probably find some forgiveness,,,but I do want you to always remember ASHLET and who she was and how many lives will forever be affedted by her tragic death.       The other real tragedy in this is ALEXANDRIA.....She has no real memories of her Mommy at all...She knows what her Mommy looks like and kisses the photos of her and even though, Kristi, you will be missing some parts of your son growing up,,,but think when he turns 20 months old,,,that is how old ALEXANDRIA was when her Mommy was killed.  ASHLEY only celebrated one birthday with her daughter,,,,,you on the other hand will miss a few,,,,but will be there for many more....There will be no Mother and Daughter bond for ALEXANDRIA to experience, no one can replace ASHLEY as her mother and as your son grows up and you begin to know the true joy and love of being a mother,,,,,years from now,,,,,remember ASHLEY and her daughter, ALEXANDRIA and what a wonderful life they could have shared together as I had with my daughter, ASHLEY........I don't want revenge,,,,,,I only want justice.  I do believe that His Honor will be fair and just in his decision that her will grant today.  No judgment will make my loss and pain ever go away at losing my ASHLEY....I will never truly be that happy person again and when I see my granddaughter, ALEXANDRIA, my heart will be forever broken knowing that she will never feel and know the real love that ASHLEY had for her......^i^ A.V.J.W. ^i^

I remember I walked past your house and said,"Shovel that snow Bitch"; thinking it was you and ur Mom turned around. It definentley had me nervous. But thats only one of the hundreds of memories i got with you. Shit was crazy when you left but everything happens for a reason; but I didn't understand that shit. U is for sure missed and life was surely not ready for a determined young lady such as urself. I c ur beautiful daughter all the time and just think Genetics is something else. I will see you soon and stay out the SUN. Always wearing those hats. Tried to have more fitteds than me. Tanqueray was ur downfall messing with me. I will holla for now but will b back now that i know where u b at.

 

 

Ashley,,,another Easter is here and I can still remember when you were a little girl waiting for the Bunny to come and give you lots of candy and toys...We had to hide those eggs a zillion times for you and Matt to find.....the shells all cracked and dirty and you never liked to get your hands in the dirt...Lauren came up on Wed. to paint eggs with Alexandria,,,she had lots of new bath tub Barbies for her and some really cute clothes too...then we hid the eggs in the basement for Alexandria to find,,,just watching her look for them was so funny.....She let out a squeal every time she found one and of course we had to keep hiding them over and over.....I know Alexandria is going to have fun today, I wish that I could be with her,,,but I'll see her on Monday and she wants to see "H's" new puppy dog,,,"Oscar",,I only hope that your "sexy dog" Pepper is going to like him....Poor Pepper,,,the Lupus dog...He's a good old dog....Someone gave you a basket full of Easter eggs and lots of flowers for you too....We miss you so,, every holiday is not the same without seeing you and watching you with your daughter,,,I just try to get through every day and think of being there for Alexandria....She's so beautiful....She misses you too.....I LOVE YOU....^i^

ash im gonna be 21 soon wish you were here for it maybe i could have shared a drink or two with you miss you so much !!!

Ashley,,,,Days are days and nights are nights,,,,,they go by lonely and dull without you bouncing around the house,,,singing those little songs that you made up...I miss you coming into the house with Alexandria,,,asking me "are you making any thing for dinner, cause I'm mad hungry"  Your appetite for food was like a truck drivers,, you could eat enough for 3 people and yet you had the body of a ballerina,,,YOU MUST HAVE SEEN HER,,,,DANCING IN THE SAND.....Every time I hear that song,,,, It reminds me of you,,,dancing all the time....What are we gong to do without you in our lives,,,, Every day is the same for me cause you are with me in my mind and I still think of that early morning at the hospital,,,the confusion of not knowing what was going on,,,seeing Lynsey and Amanda in the condition that they were in,,,thinking where's my daughter,,,is she in the O.R.,,she is that bad,,but not thinking the worst.....then finding out that you were gone,,hitting me like a ton of bricks in my heart...wishing, really that I wanted  to die right then and now,,,,in shock, and then seeing you lying there,,,looking like you were just sleeping, your hair spreading out on the pillow, your little head turned to the side,,,I was thinking, "come on Ash, wake up,,,don't do this" Then taking my hands and rubbing them all over you, feeling you, touching you and knowing then, that you were really gone forever.....I will never ever forget that image of you,,,my girl,,,who loved her life,,,loved her beautiful daughter and was just beginning to enjoy who she was and what she was going to do in her young life....We still miss you Ashley, all your friends and family.....we miss eveything about you and as we go on with our lives,,,we know that you should still be here with us and your Alexandria.....Why did it happen to you!!!!! I LOVE YOU ^i^

god only really knows how much i miss ya i know we didnt talk all the time but u were honestly the only person who could understand n u know what i mean i have a few pics of u hanging up and i tell cam about u i wish you could have met him b4 u had to go he would have loved u i still remember when i was like 8 wks preg. and was at your house telling u n u said ur not gonna be able to go shopping anymore n laughed i always think of that n me n jen were talking about how we slept at ur house the one night n drank when ced n john went to bmore  we had fun n some deep convos n the one me n u had u were so right ! u know what was said but iam going to get a tat for you when my tax $ gets here its gona be simple angel wings with avjw in the middle o yea give rocky a big big hug for me n tell him i thought of him when i saw the water guns at walmart lmao how could we forget the water gun battles lol he got us both good i love you and please keep a watch over cam  n the pic is of ur momma n alex on halloween her and cam were so funny  love u xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Vik-

I remember those times Ash would find her presents and show me what she got. :) She was so sneaky. I hope you had a good christmas and I hope the new year brings you more memories with Alexandria and happiness. I wish the best for you. ASh- your alwasy in my prayers. xoxoxox E *

Ashley.....another Christmas has come & went,,,,I'm glad it's over,,,really I am...It was really a hard one to go through without you,,,,,,going to church and seeing all the young mothers with their babies, my mind was on how it would be if you were still here being a mom to Alexandria.....she is so beautiful but looking at her, I know she misses you too....Last nite, she was crying for her mommy,,,I don't know why but I just held her, rocked and told her we all miss mommy,,,,She looked at your picture on the wall and said to you,,,"Merry Christmas".....I just can't believe that you are truly gone from our lives....You loved this time of year,,,getting all those gifts and every year, you knew what you were getting cause you found out where I hid them....well Alexandria got a boat load of gifts from everyone, it looks like Toys-R-Us at the house....and in the clothing dept., she not hurting either,,,,we might have to build another closet in the house.....Alexandria is going to be a clothes hound like you were.....we still miss you and think about you all the time.....these are the ones that truly loved you and hold you dear in their hearts still.....they will never forget AVJW

hey ash. of course i miss you like crazy. you always had a way to make me feel better and im going through some shit now and i just wish i had you here to talk to. i still have everyone else in my life but it isnt the same as you. my birthday was the other day. 23 nowadays. you prolly wouldnt even recognize me anymore....here comes another xmas without you. and its gonna be the hardest for your mother. but she has alexandria to lift her spirits. i love her so much and alexandria tells me all the time how she loves the moon and its your moon. she says my mommy is up in the sky. even seeing your little girl telling me that i still cant believe this is true. the trial is supposed to be coming up soon. hopefully we will try to get a little closure on this whole matter. i could really use your advice right now. even though i was always telling you what to do. i got your journal out. only read a little so far but it makes me smile and just seeing your handwriting makes me feel a little better. i have to wait til alexandria is at least 18 to read that. haha.....but please keep a watch over me like you have been. you arent just my best friend anymore you are also my angel. love you ash and miss you more than you know....

My Ashley, another Thanksgiving is here and missing you this day is not a day that I feel I can give thanks. You meant everything to me in my life & knowing that you are gone from me, I'll just float through these holidays watching mothers and their daughters, enjoy each other. I had so much love for you and just seeing people having fun and living their lives gets to be very difficult for me. It would be nice if I could just roll up in a ball and sleep the next few weeks away,,,but can't do that so I'll pretend to be happy, go through the routine of being strong and acting fine.....Even Alexandria sometimes tells me not to be sad,,be happy Grandmere,,,She knows that something is not right at times.....Kids pick up on feelings and moods....She is the reason that I must go on, to see her grow and watch her live her life.....She is so loved and when I have her,,,,I can see that she is her mothers daughter....She keeps me busy and does bring a real smile to my face,,,,She will be fine in her life without you, I believe because we will tell her all about her Mommy, how much you loved and cared for her.....Alexandria will know you and if she needs anything,,,,there is a small army of your closest friends to support her the best way they can,,,with love and lots of "Ashley Stories" to tell her....Her family will be there too, and her Auntie "H",,she just loves "H"......I love you Ashley,,,,see you in my dreams...^i^  Life will never be the same for me and all your family and friends......again...

Well Ash Today is my 21st!! everybody is going to station tonight To celebrate With me! Your mom will be there with us, She will have a good time we always make sure of that!! I would give anything to have you there with us tonight!! Keep me safe Im kinda scared(haha) T Guzz isnt really Tguzz anymore!! I remember you always telling me that i was going to be your right hand man and that you were going to be my manager in chugging!! Well I havent done that in a LONG time, But i think i still might have it!! If the chance comes up i told lauren she could be my new manager and we would split the money haha!! I just might have to chug one just for you!!! I hope you liked your pumpkin we carved for you,it was work but well worth it!!! Thinking about you always, and missing you like crazy!!! I LOVE YOU ASH, TOKA

hey ash. i still cant believe youre gone. the other week your mom came with me kelly and jess to see elton john. i hope she had fun. wish you coulda been there... it was awesome...we also carved a pumpkin for you *AW* hope you enjoyed it and our visit with you on halloween... i really wish you were here so i could talk to you... im so lost with myself and i need your help... miss you more than words can express... love you ash...

Hi Sweetie, went to N.Y.C a few week-ends ago with Yvonne to see the play "Jersey Boys"   omg it was so good , you would have enjoyed it too...Just walking around in the Big Apple brought back a billion memories of when we went there together on those bus trips...going to Little Italy to eat pasta, you & Jess getting your pic. taken with those Italian dudes,,,shopping for Baby Phat clothes and the best was buying the fake designer bags from the street vendors...we met up with Yvonne's sister, to have a wonderful lunch at a real ITALIAN  restaurant before the show. Barb was a great host & her boyfriend Mark is into the Art world...He knows alot about Art and speaks 4 or 5 languages,,,very nice man...all in all the trip was fine but everywhere we went my thoughts were on you and how much you loved going to NYC....Went to St. Patrick's church to light a few candles for you....I miss you so much, Ashley that I really don't know how long I can stand to be without you....Your beautiful daughter is the only joy I can find in my world now....Much love to you and visit me in my dreams ok???I LOVE YOU FOREVER....^i^

hey ash. your mom and alexandria came to visit me today. everytime i see that little girl and her smiling face it makes all the worries in the world go away. she is a little angel. she has so much of your joy in her. i wish everyday that you could be here to see how wonderful of a daughter you have and what a terrific mother you were to her. we will never let your memory in her go away. i know you will be there for her through her whole life but its not the same as having you here physically.... love and miss you more and more everyday.... visit me in my dreams... muah... <3

Ashley, i miss you, had a good dream about you a few nights ago,,didn't make any sense, but I'm glad you came to visit me. Everyday is just the same, I have a flood of memories about you, when I work and see a mother with her daughter and grandchild shopping, I remember when we would go to the mall and you  always had buy something and me telling you to hurry up...then we would go and eat pasta & chicken, sharing our meal......remember when you came into Kohl's when I worked there,,,I heard your little voice "MOM" ,,,,,pointing to your baby belly,,,,"It's a girl " with a big smile on your face,,,,we went right over to the baby section and started to pick out lots of PINK baby clothes...I loved it.....Then you told me what John said about having a girl...."Now I gotta put up with two of you!!" so like him to say that...He does love Alexandria & I do believe,,,deep down that John is trying to be a good father to her,,,,Time will tell as Alexandria grows up to become a young girl.....He must learn to have a big heart and lots of patience with her. I know that you still did care for John when you had to go, so stay with him in his heart and don't let him ever forget you...I hope every time he looks at Alexandria,,,he sees you and knows that she has all your happiness and laughter in her....I LOVE YOU my beautiful DAUGHTER....^i^

Ahhhhhhh Where to begin.................

I cant tell you how much I miss you. I think about you everyday and remember all the great times we had together. I still hurt so badly inside, I have never felt emptiness the way I do without you. I know I could keep asking myself and going over in my mind the what-if's over and over but I know it wont bring you back to us. If there was anything I could do I would have you back in a second. I would give up anything for you to be here with us. I sit here looking at all the pictures of you, alex and your mom and I cant hold back the tears from falling. I still cant believe this happened? My heart is so heavy from the loss I know your mom and alexandria feel. I pray for the everyday, but dont you worry your mom will take such good care of your little princess. She a mini "AVJW"! She absolutely beautiful Ash. Keep being the brightest star in the sky and always know you will never be forgotten. I love you (= XOXOXOXO

Lutz reunion was yesterday down at uncle beanie's and all day, i just was thinking of how much you enjoyed those family get togethers..lots of food to eat, and uncle bill had a bushel of crabs...i know you would have spent hours picking them...alexandria thought they were "yuckie" she was having a pretty good time with all her little cuz's running around and her eyes lit up when baby morgan showed up with diane....what a day for her....well,,,i know that harry dietz is up there with you & pap today,,,sitting at the bar having a few drinks telling stories about his fat dog "pokie" who hated me,,,,and how he would torment me with that dog....jane and the rest of her family will miss him so help them out....we miss you so much ashley , we still feel the pain and loss....every second of every day i think of you and what you would be doing with your life and how you and alexandria would be now as mother and daughter...She loves you and knows that some thing special is missing from her young life...i have many memories of you to tell her one day and so much to show her about you....She'll love you forever....i love you ^i^

i cant believe its been a year without you here. this past christmas your mom gave me a double picture frame with your pictures in it. its been sitting beside my bed ever since the night she gave it to me. you mom also brought alex up to uncle toms to see the "bobby deer" she had so much fun. i love everytime she sees me she runs up and hugs me. it makes me feel so much closer to you. i miss you so much. i will be turning 21 this coming year and it makes me think thats when me and u would have gotten close again cus u would have took me out for my birthday like you said you would!! i love you ash. keep shining down on us all.

 

<3

double rainbow... 8-11-2008

Ash,

I know you were with us yesterday and allll of last night. We all had a good time with your mom and ed on the boat...and spending the day with them at the cabin.  We all laughed and smiled and had a good time.. but still inside we all were all so sad.your mom was dancin with us ..lol. i know you were def lovin our midnight trip out to your grave =) we all told our favorite memory of you..and laughed and cried.you touched alot of lives.please watch over us today and always like you have been. I know your mom is going through a really rough time so please take extra care of her..i could not even imagine what she must be going through..dont worry we will take good care of her too. i'm sure we lifted her spirit up yesterday..well, kelly did for sure!! LOL! love ya ash .."MISSED YA"